Raising Children

I mentioned in the last post about children and how they behave in public. I have witnessed young children that have wrecked havoc on a business, screaming, running and causing undo chaos. All the proprietor wants to do is get them out the door and restore calm to the business. Having raised two children that are responsible, contributory members of society, I think I am somewhat justified in offering my opinions.

First rule: We tried talking to our children - it doesn't work!

Children have a different view of the world, it is egocentric, their view doesn't include consequents and they haven't learned to reason. I don't mean not to talk to your child, you should take the time to explain the world to them; but trying to justify your actions and reason with a child is an exercise in futility. At some point in their life they will begin to reason and will begin to respect you, not only because you are their parent but also because you have gained the experience that age provides. Explaining how they should behave is lost on small children, which leads to the second rule.

Second rule: Punishment should fit the situation.

I have seen some parent go nuclear on a child and begin yelling and ordering them about for a minor infraction. I have seen a child that is definitely out of control with the mother first trying to ignore him and then trying to talk to him. Neither of them nor the spectators were enjoying the situation. It was time to go home! I do believe in corporal punishment but only when it is necessary. Time out is probably one of the best disciplines ever invented. Time to a child is eternity and sitting still behaving is just unbearable.


Third rule: Discipline must be immediate and absolute.

If you use the line "wait until I get you home" you have lost the advantage of teaching proper behavior. I see people constantly who are embarrassed by their children's behavior but try to get through the moment and choose to ignore their misbehaving children. Let me give you a hint, whatever you are doing is not near as important as raising that child. I believe that you if choose to have children, you want to add to the world and maybe leave it a better place. To that end if you don't work at it, then you've lost the purpose. Don't subject the people around you to an unwanted tantrum just because you think the child is tired or you're embarrassed. Modern society has stated you should not correct your children in public, okay we'll agree with that, so what do you do? Easy, leave the store, come back after the nap, take the child to the local soda shop and feed them, children rarely complain unless there is a reason, find out the reason in a quiet, "I"m in control" environment and solve the problem.

Final and most important rule: Love you child.

Take advantage of the fact that you have a young mind that you can meld and let them see the world as a wondrous thing. Enjoy their company, love playing with them, let your inner child come out, don't expect them to be adults but teach them to be responsible. In the words of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young: "Teach Your Children Well"

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